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Color My World

Mar. 3rd, 2009

11:44 pm - Writer's Block: More Island Time

You're packing your bag for that other desert island—the one with no electricity—what 5 books do you take with you?
As I Lay Dying, She's Coming Undone- Wally Lamb, Big Fish, an empty journal, probably my Daily Bible with daily readings, and last but not least Derek Walcott's Collection of Poems.
The First three are just some of my favorite books- the first is an old favorite, the next two are recent finds. Big Fish is just my favorite all around! Its by an Alabama author as well, so I can't help but like it. My little daily bible thing cuz its got plenty of pages and it'd probably be good to catch up on that...considering I haven't read more than a chapter of the whole Bible...except that time in high school where we had to read like 7 of the old testament books...you know, the poetic ones. And we had to analyze it! UGH!  And Derek Walcott because his  poetry is phenomenal...I mean, its kind of grim, but I like it and it s a big book of poems! And I love poetry!!!

Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: groggygroggy
Current Music: Time To Pretend MGMT

Feb. 11th, 2009

01:44 pm - Scream

Why can't I
express
let go of my mind
release my inner
thoughts in
angry rhyme?
I'd tell you so much,
explain what I am
I'd tell you to go fuck yourself
you and you stupid laws.
But I can't. I'm still.
Im quiet. I am peace.
A piece of cake.
Keep your mouth shut tight
or you'll get a white slip.

Why can't I
run
      turn away and run
make my feet move
            release

theenergypentupinsideofme
in a RAGING flurry of feet?
Run
   run
  run little rabbit run.
Make haste and save your hide.
Save yourself. free yourself.
But I won't. I'm still.
I'm weak. I am shit.
A piece of shit.
Shut up, sit down
do exactly as they say
and you'll be safe.

But I will
SCREAM
I will let go
you won't know
right away
but it will be done.
I'll SCREAM
at the top of my lungs
until my face turns red
my sweat turns to blood
my eardrums burst
until I am finally free
until I am free at last
like Martin Luther King!
Dammit
like a dog on the run
free free at last!
Kill my brain
make me mush
but you cannot cage this spirit
this free flowing liquid
like mercury rising
you cannot keep me down
because I will scream!

Current Location: dorm
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Wicked Garden-Stone Temple Pilots

11:06 am - Writer's Block: Challenges I’ve Faced

What challenges in life have you conquered and emerged from a better person?
There is one that IMMEDIATELY comes to mind. When I came to college, I thought my friend Carla and I would remain friends for life...you know how it is? Well, I realized very quickly that people change. You find out people's true colors when you move away from home. She followed me to college (she went to the same university) and I was happy that she did....at first, anyways. Then, we got myspaces (our parents did not want us getting myspaces b/c they were too "dangerous" lmao) and she kept getting friend requests from random guys. ONe of them was a Mexican named Beto. (Well thats not actually his name. Thats just what I call him cuz I cant pronounce it right.) ALl of a sudden she was going around behind my back to meet this guy. She went so far as to lie to me to get me to come with her the first time she met him. I was very very upset! I could not believe she had just lied to me! After 10 years of friendship, no less! I confronted her about it and she apologized, but a week later, I find out shes screwing him. It did not really matter to me that she was screwing him, only that she had lied to my face about seeing him! I was so angry, but again I forgave her. She continued to lie for the next TWO semesters and I continued to forgive her. What a dope, right? I know. But I just did not want to let 10 years of friendship go down the drain. That was the plea she made to me when I finally severed all ties to her one day. I got fed up with her bull crap and my roommate told me I needed to finally stand up for myself. So I did. Not very successfully mind you, but it got the  job done. What made it worse was she just stood there like everything was fine as I told her I didnt want to talk to or see her again until she could tell me the truth. There is definatly more to the story than that, but I don't want to bore you with so many details. The point is, people change. No matter how much you love them, they will change. They can be the best friend you have ever had, then turn around one day and completely stab you in the back.
Luckily, she moved out of her house and came to her senses. She realized I was a FRIEND not her parent, so she did not have to lie to me. And she could NOT have sex in the same room as I was in. (that was the worst part about being her friend those two semesters.) And her and Beto got an apartment. I still do not trust her, and I know she is making a big mistake with this one, but I have overcome my obstacle, and that is all that matters. We are friends, now, but not GOOD friends. I take care of her if I have to but nothing more.

Feb. 5th, 2009

08:36 pm - Writer's Block: Seven

Which of the seven deadly sins—sloth, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and pride—are you most likely to commit?
I think I have commited alot of them. Im definatley lazy-so that checks off sloth. I dont particularly care about money. I mean its nice to have as a commodity but it doesnt rule MY life. -so no on greedy. I think I have lusted after more things that I can count on ten people's hands and toes. -that takes care of lust. Uhm I really really have a problem eating, and its obvious if you ask me. -so gluttony is prolly my most commited :) and I have a bad temper, but I dont let it eat me up. so i dont think that one counts. Im definatley not envious. Or prideful. I feel like I have enough confidence, but I dont boast. Im kind of balanced in those two areas. :) yay

Jan. 30th, 2009

12:14 am - Writer's Block: Opposites Attract

What celebrity would you consider changing your sexual identity for?
Id turn lesbo for the lady in notes on a scandal or whatever that movie is. Shes a teacher who has an affair with a ugly ass 16-17 year old boy. Something like that. Anyways, she is totally hot!!! And I have to say, I think Ellen Degeneres is smokin too!

*Peace and five leaves

Current Location: bed
Current Music: just the rumble of the fridge

Jan. 29th, 2009

11:42 am - Procrast.

Last night, I realized how my life has no purpose.
All alone, I sit here, and I do not even try to make NEW friends. THe ones I had have ruined my friend making abilities. I want no sympathy, its just facts. I cannot get close to anyone any more thanks to carla. I made a complete ass out of myself last night while hanging with a guy friend. It was utterly embarassing. The most embarrassing thing I have ever done!
If they ever legalize weed, Im smoking the hell out of that stuff!!! Call me crazy, but there really is nothing wrong with weed itself. Its the people that smoke it and use it as a gateway drug that ruin it for the rest of us! But no, they couldnt just settle for the one drug. Oh no! They had to have the whole thing. The whole realm of illegal drugs. I hate them! Ok, not really, because I dont ever hate anyone. I love all people! As long s  they dont give me a reason to hate, anyways.
I must flee, now. Much homework needs to be done before 6pm..thats when the class is :) Im such a procrastinator.

Current Mood: distresseddistressed

Jan. 26th, 2009

06:23 pm - Writer's Block: Year of the Ox

Happy Chinese New Year! The Year of the Ox starts today. What is your Chinese zodiac animal? Do you think you fit the description of the sign?
My Chinese zodiac animal is the snake. The "horoscope" thing says that my "wisdom and patience are tools that prove successful in all aspects of [my] life." I strongly disagree with this statement. I have had nothing but trouble when it came to my wisdom and patience. I don't think I am all that patient anyways. It also says that "this year proves to be one of great action, the year that all of your planning and waiting pay off." This I do agree with. I have a feeling that some major decisions about the course of my life are going to be made this year. Especially because I have decided to step up on some issues.The horoscope says that I tend to be a loner...which is true. Not by choice, though.
My favorite part of my horoscope, though, is the part where it says "you may want to watch what you eat and make it a point to exercise more often, as these may be areas that you tend to neglect." Its like they saw my transformation of 30 pounds. I mean to lose it this semester though. I just slacked off last semester, and my roommate talked me into eating pepperoni pizza with her more than I should have. So I ended up putting on some weight. Luckily, Im not overweight, though. I have nothing against people who are, I just can't be. I have history of diabetes in my family...that would not be something I want to inherit!
But yeah. I think for the most part, my little horoscope thingy is dead on.

Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: They-Jem

Jan. 25th, 2009

03:59 pm - Writer's Block: Robotic

Who (or what) is your favorite fictional robot?
Definately Gir! From the old, old show "Invader Zim." I dont know why they cancelled that show! I guess it conflicted with too many parents' good ideas for their children. It was on Nickelodeon...not such a bright idea. But it was an amazing show, and Gir was so adoreable. He was my favorite part of the whole show! :)


Current Location: dorm
Current Music: the hum of the microfridge...stupid colleges and their stupid rules!

Jan. 19th, 2009

09:38 pm - Writer's Block: So Long, Farewell

It's the last day in office for George Bush. There's been a lot of talk in the media lately about Bush's legacy. What do you think he will be most remembered for?
He will be most remembered (not by me, of course) as the man who came into office and destroyed the economy. High gas prices seemed to stem from his coming into office, along with his inability to help New Orleans after the hurricane. He will be remembered as an ultimate failure in many Americans eyes. For single handedly destroying our priceless economy! That is what I think he will be most remembered for. But personally, I wont remember him at all. No point in dwelling on one man's failures, when the next is equally capable of being exactly the same. Obama is far from perfect himself. He has mad a good first impression by lowering the ridiculous prices of gas, but who knows what the future holds. It isn't really my area of expertise anyways-politics, I mean. It's not something I am really interested in, nor does it really apply to me. I am not doing many illegal things, so I really dont worry about who the president is, or what he is remembered for. Dont get me wrong. Im very happy we have a government that "protects our rights" by limiting them. But I'm just indifferent. If we legalize all kinds of stuff that our "forefathers" would flip in the grave over, I just DONT CARE!

thats all I have to say about that. -forrest gump?

Current Location: none other
Current Music: red wine-ub40 (not Bob Marley!)

09:13 pm - Butter


blue and black;
the color of her EYES.
Yellow, Gold, Bronze;
the shine of her hair.
Beauty ne'er shone so bright
as it does in her;
beauty beyond compare.


Maybe a crush
Maaaybe...
      crushing her.....
her slender neck
between both hands
             till the beauty subsides,
becomes still

           still as death
  
       A statuesque marvel
      made of granite...
        No, marble.
For all to witness
inside and out.
Magnificent love
making pancakes in the kitchen,
smothered in butter...
          smothered by a
         down filled pillow.
Till the Beautiful screams Subside.

Current Music: Could Have Been Memphis-Pam Tillis

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